For no other reason...

...than they're pretty! Isn't this modern arrangement gorgeous? They were a birthday gift from my daughter. The roses were from Himself, the lily bouquet from my parents and the spiky plant was from my brother.

Thing with flowers is, the moment they come into my possession, they start to wilt. No, seriously, I mean within hours they start to droop even though I do all the right things like, you know, cut the stems on the slant, add flower food...someone suggested a dash of lemonade helps to keep them perky but the only place lemonade works for me is in a vodka.

I should probably stick to artificial or dried flowers, but they're dust-gatherers...well they would be in my house. And aren't they supposed to be bad feng shui? Apparently not if you keep 'their energy fresh'. If they accumulate dust (or dog hairs) then they'd emanate dried and lifeless energy and there's enough dried lifeless energy around here thank you!

I love the way the bright orange spike on this plant matches the pot. Apparently they come in reds and purples too. The label says to water it from the top so that the moisture settles in the leaves not on the soil. This might ensure its survival because the soil in all my potted plants tends to go mouldy and smelly - victims of my over-enthusiastic watering technique!

It's my birthday today!

Yes, today, the 18th August I'm...not telling! I had my birthday celebration on Sunday - the family took me out for a Chinese meal at The Flaming Dragon in Sheffield, just opposite the Arena. It's buffet-style with everything you can imagine...and some things you couldn't. The photo on the left is of me and mine though I've just realised my son Adam and his girlfriend Joanne are missing - I think they'd gone up to the buffet for dessert. Pity my eldest son Russ and his partner Maria weren't there but getting the whole clan together when they live in different parts of the country is difficult. Still, they sent me a lovely gift and Russ called to wish me a Happy Birthday. Oh and he bought me a mini voice recorder key fob that'll come in handy for when I'm out and about. Quicker than getting out the jotter.

At the end of our meal, about a dozen waiters sang to me and gave me a joke birthday cake which even had a candle on the top! Nice touch isn't it? Bit difficult dividing it between 10 though!

Today I'm having a quiet day writing. Mum's called with flowers and a pot plant from my brother. If only the sun would come out, my day would be complete. Still, you can't have everything.

My name is Sue and I'm an addict

I need help. I'm a hoarder and compulsive buyer of books and it has to stop. NOW! It'd take me a year to get through my 'to read pile' yet I've asked for more books for my birthday. Why? When I can't keep up with what I already have.

I have 2 bookcases in my house; 1 is to the ceiling around 3ft wide and has 6 shelves crammed full, the other one is slightly smaller with 3 shelves, again busting at the seams. Then upstairs I have shelves in 2 bedrooms again overflowing. Plus there're books stuffed behind the sofa, in wardrobes and under beds.
Yesterday I decided enough is enough. I need to thin them out. It isn't that I don't know where to send them - there're dozens of people would be grateful for them - it's the act of giving them up I can't face. I find it sooo painful to let them go! I feel like an addict doing cold turkey.

My collection falls into several categories.

There're those I've read and enjoyed so much I'm loathe to chuck because, well, um, I might find them useful as reference for my own work.

Obviously, any reference books on writing I cant possibly ditch even though I can quote them word for word.

Ditto dictionaries and 'Year' books even though this info can be mostly accessed on-line.

Some fiction I haven't even read but cant possibly get rid off them because I'll eventually get around to doing so...when exactly? 2012???

There're those I've tried to read and didn't finish for various reasons - usually because they weren't to my taste BUT I cant ditch because I may come back to them later...but probably won't. But you never know, do you? Take The Time Traveller's Wife - couldn't get into it but now the film's out I feel compelled to try once again.

Then there're the signed editions from my fave authors I'd NEVER EVER give up because I love them and their work.

Then there're those signed editions of books I'd never normally buy (Know Your Newt??)but did so because the author looked lonely there behind her/his table in the bookshop and we had a nice chat about the writing game etc.

Recognise my dilemma? I bet you do. Anyway, yesterday, I began the task of getting rid. I took 2 large carrier bags of books to the charity shop but had to park right outside, run in, dump them and run out again before I bought more to replace them.

Today I've filled two more large bags. I don't think I can face another trip to Barnardo's in case I fall off the wagon.

Blog Takeover Day

Hello, I’m Maggie Dearly and Sue’s asked me to take over her blog for today. I’m thrilled, if a little bemused, because I’ve always thought of myself as a secondary character in her novel. Surely she’d want one of the main protagonists to scribble something - the MPs being Alex and Roisin* not forgetting Sandra. Alex is my son, by the way, the lovely Roisin is his employee (at least in the beginning)and Sandra is...well, maybe I’ll keep that to myself for now. Don’t want any spoilers do we?

Where was I? Oh yes, Sue assures me I’m important because my role is pivotal to the plot - without me there’d be no conflict.

‘And we all know why a story needs conflict, don’t we, Maggie?’

And there was me thinking she’d only invented my character because every good family saga**needs a clichéd, menopausal widow to bounce clever dialogue off.

So now I’m here, being pivotal, what am I expected to talk about?

My only claim to fame is I was once sacked from a charity shop, for calling Cherie Blair a ‘F*****g greedy cow’. As I told her security at the time how was I to know she’d come to officially open the premises? She looked nothing like the grinning Cheshire cat we see on the telly. I thought she was one of the girls from the pie shop next door come to get her hands on the best stuff before we opened. And for the record, you can’t sack someone from voluntary work.

Alex was a bit put out at the time. He didn’t say as much but I think he was worried my actions would reflect on his business. As if the whole of Throcking Pava would boycott his cafe because the owner’s mother had denied the then PM’s wife a 50p bud vase. Honestly! He worries too much. He takes after his father...

Talking of which, I do miss my husband, William, despite what Roisin thinks she saw. Okay, I admit, Mr Chen*** was in my house naked but everything else is entirely down to her imagination. Except for the wacky baccy. That I do regret. That and a certain course of action taken almost three decades ago.

Still, we came through it all in the end. Well, we had to or the novel would have an unsatisfactory conclusion and we can’t have that in a best-seller can we?

TTFN!

* ‘Roisin’ (pronounced Roe-sheen) has one of those funny accents above the ‘o’ but I don’t know how to find the symbol on here and everyone calls her Raz in the book so I don’t know why Sue’s so insistent I point it out but she's the writer so I have to indulge her.

**Saga isn’t how Sue would describe it. More a romantic comedy...about family loyalties and bonds...and other family stuff. So a saga, really.

***Zsui Chen, holistic practitioner – responsible for flushing my colon once a month.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY SALLY QUILFORD AND THANKS FOR THE IDEA BEHIND THIS BLOG ENTRY!

Please vote!

There're hundreds of 'How To' books on writing out there and I think I've read most, if not all, of them. Obviously, when a writer friend pens one I'm going to buy it - I'm nice like that ;0)But seriously, Wannabe A Writer? by Jane Wenham-Jones is definitely one for the bookshelf whether you're a newbie writer or an experienced one.
To get to my point and yes, this is unashamed begging but I don't care because Jane deserves it - Wannabe a Writer? has been nominated in a little award thingy to do with independent publishers.
Please go to The People's Book Prize website and look in the non-fiction section and vote for it. Pretty please!

And even if you don't want to vote (shame on you!) you can still get more info on Jane's book here.

And there's lots more on her website here

Today I am mostly...

...clearing up as I spent most of yesterday away from the pooter doing a spot of decorating in the sitting room. We're having a new fireplace fitted soon and I needed to freshen up the paintwork where the old one's been ripped out. Except once I started touching up I realised just how many shades of magnolia there are and ended up doing the whole room.

We'd had an idea the old gas fire was faulty. The pilot light would spark but wouldn't stay lit - a safety feature I think. The man who came to disconnect it said it was leaking but strangely our carbon monoxide detector hadn't gone off. Maybe not leaking enough? Dunno.

Anyway, we decided we'd replace it with an ultra-modern electric one. It's high gloss black, with coals and 3D Enviraflame technology (I'm copyng from the brochure here). Course, being modern, it didnt suit the old pine surround so we're changing that too, to a Sandstone one, blocky-looking, no mantle. I think we got a bargain but as with all DIY jobs, it's the little 'add-ons' you don't expect that hike up the cost.

First there's the emulsion, new paint rollers and tray.

'We don't need new, there's a stack of 'em in the shed' - Himself.
'But there're spiders in the shed' - Me.

The new hearth has rounded corners whereas the last one was square so it'll leave an unsightly gap in the flooring hence we'll need someone to come out and give us a quote for patching in and I'm guessing our particular wood veneer is now discontinued etc etc.

Himself has always hated the mirror (I it bought second-hand about 15 years ago)which hung above the fireplace so he's suggested now would be a good time to replace it, 'With some art'. Well, we've argued about this 'art' for some time now and I'm no nearer to agreeing that a 4x4 canvas of stampeding horses would look tasteful.

Thing is, I can't come up with an alternative. I've trawled eBay and nothing jumps out at me. I'd like a watercolour, pastel colours, maybe something to remind me of a past holiday. Nothing floral, or abstract and definitely no nudes please! Having said that, on the opposite wall I have a sepia artwork of a Roman lady in a diaphanous frock, boobies on show and her arms flung with abandon above her head! Maybe it's time for that to go too.

Top Tip: Don't decorate with doors and windows flung wide when fields are being harvested close by. A swarm of those tiny bugs descended and unable to swat them away I'm afraid I had no choice but to paint over them. Brings a whole new meaning to textured walls.

Community mags - a possible outlet for the writer.

Every home-owner complains about the amount of junk mail they receive each week. I know we do Chez Houghton. Himself is threatening to buy one of those paper briquette makers (seen in the Lakeland catalogue - itself unwanted mail) to turn it into cheap fuel...except we have an electric fire so maybe not such a good idea after all.

It's only Wednesday and already Postie has delivered: 1 shoe catalogue, 4 offers to update my fascias, 2 offers on Pizzas, 2 charity leaflets and a holiday brochure for luxury cruises. Annoying.

Why did I start this post?...Oh yes, community magazines. Before you confine them to the bin as junk mail, think again. Not only are they useful for 'what's On' ask yourself if they're a possible outlet for your articles/short stories?

I've seen a few community mags come and go in my area. Most carried info on church fetes, school football league tables and a plethora of adverts for double glazing and plumbing services. Not much chance of placing my work, albeit for free.

Then a copy of Worksop Life dropped through my door. Of course it carries adverts and lots of them - it wouldn't be viable without them - but it seemed a bit more 'grown up'. The August issue (A5 and glossy colour by the way) has book reviews, an article on E-Readers, computer advice, puzzles, a fashion page, even a recipe for BBQ bananas and...a short story by me!


All it took was a brief email to the editors to ask if they were interested and hey presto...a couple of weeks later I get a double spread of 800 words plus pic and bio. Before you writers out there hold up your hands in horror at the 'write for free' ethic, this was a story that had come Highly Commended in a recent on-line writing competition but didn't seem to 'fit' anywhere else and I hate to see a story languish on the hard-drive. IMO, better to showcase it for free than not at all. Plus, I enjoyed taking part in something close to home and if it raises my profile locally, then that's all to the good.

In case you were wondering - I submitted A Bit Of A Do to My Weekly and though they liked the humour the editor didn't want the mother dead at the end...um, that was the whole point of the twist so I declined to change it - something I wouldn't normally do.

Worksop Life - Community magazine and business directory is delivered free in Bassetlaw every month. Edited by Leanne Lodge and Julian Broadhead. Email: worksoplife@tesco.net or Tel: 01472881104

You Have Reached Your Destination...or have you?

Did you hear the story about the Swedish couple who fancied a road trip to the Isle of Capri but set their sat nav co-ordinates wrong and ended up in Carpi, an industrial town in Italy some 400 miles off destination?

Maybe the analogy is stretching it somewhat, but as with that couple, I was so keen to get a recently written short story to its destination asap I made mistakes. I grant you, unlike Capri, Norah McGrath's desk at Take A Break is hardly a place of natural beauty and busy glitz (well, it might be, who knows?) but had I let my manuscript get to her in its present form I'd have regretted it.

Why? Because it wasn't right - it needed 'something'. The resolution came too easily, for one thing, I could see that immediately on re-read. The plot was a good one and hopefully it's as original as it can be considering every idea seems to have been done to death, but just by letting it drop out of my thoughts and coming to it fresh a day later, I could see how I could make it better. Hopefully, that's what I've done and it's now on its way to Norah who still may reject it for any number of reasons but hopefully not because it's poorly written.

I'll let you know in about 3 month's time!

PS. I make no excuses for my blog posts being poorly written but I'm not getting paid for them, so I don't care.

PPS.I've never seen a photo of Norah. Seen pics of most eds but never one of her.

Submission services anyone?

At the risk of being accused of lifting snippets from other blogs I do think any wannabe novelist should read the post on the use of submission services at How Publishing Really Works.

Puss Pass

Don't you love those cutsie stories they use to finish off the news? Loved today's gem about a puss called Casper, who, for the past few months, has been catching the number 3 bus outside his home in Plymouth, Devon. He hops aboard, snuggles down on the back seat and enjoys the ride. The driver drops him off on the return journey.

Apparently his owner didn't know about his antics until the bus company, First, informed her. First has even put up a notice in the canteen alerting drivers to take good care of him. Ah, makes you go all warm inside, doesn't it? Wonder how long it'll be before Health & Safety get a whiff of it? One way or another his joyriding will be stopped, mark my words.

Photo and more details here.

Splish, splash, splosh!

Photo opposite is the view from the dining room where I'm typing this!






Isn't the weather depressing? What happened to summer? I can't recall a day since about May when it hasn't rained at some point during the day. This morning started well with a little sunshine, then around 9.30am the skies darkened and down it came. Hasn't stopped since.

Hmm, an ice-cream van just turned up outside my house - who in their right mind buys ice-cream on a day like today? Talk about optimism!

Where was I? Oh yes, I was moaning about the weather which brings me to point out that I live on a smallish 70's housing estate with poor Broadband reception and drains that flood every time there's sustained rainfall...no, the two things aren't connected but seeing as I've had intermittent Broadband all day, I'm feeling a tad wound up about it! What with that and the TV signal being interrupted...

Anyway, remember the floods a couple of years ago? You were unaffected? Well, parts of where I live were underwater for over a week...some even longer. If this keeps up, it's going to happen again. The main road between our house and our business premises is particularly fun to navigate today, with fountains of water gushing from displaced manhole covers. Note to parents of children happily splashing around in it...THIS IS SEWAGE WATER! This fact is evident when the rain stops and the water subsides. The road is littered with...you can guess!


The photo opposite is of Bridge Street in Worksop at the time of the last flood. Photo taken from Worksop Guardian.





Several houses on this estate were flooded back then (thankfully not ours)and those worst affected were the ones lying below the road level. Not sure who took the blame, the council, the house builders or Severn Trent, but anyway, defense gates were installed which in the main were pretty ineffective. So for the next 5 weeks the road is being dug up to sort out the drainage problem once and for all. This means 3-way traffic lights have been installed to aide the flow of vehicles coming off the main A57 into Worksop.

PLEASE, please can the authorities leave these lights in place when the work is completed because for the first time since I've lived here I can get in and out of the estate with ease. AND more importantly, it would prevent parents parking their cars on the double yellows outside the school gates which snarls up traffic at peak times. And before you inundate me with angry comments about how parents need to transport their offspring by car because of danger from paedophiles etc, I'm not interested in your whining. The road in question is narrow, extremely busy, has yellow hatching and double yellows and is the only exit off the estate PLUS there are 2 car parks within 20 yards so bl**dy well use them!

Whew, I feel better already ;o)

New Template

Do you like my new template? Hope so as it's taken me the best part of today to get it right...well, almost right. It still needs a little faffing with and tweaks here and there but on the whole I'm quite taken with it.

I think everything I need has been brought over from the old site. If anything's missing I'll find it and add it later.

Still having problems getting the 'followers' pane to appear but I understand it has something to do with an incompatibilty between Google Friends (or was it Google Contacts?) and the old 'followers' format. I'm probably wrong but hey-ho!

Sent to Coventry?

Where have all my followers gone? I thought it was just me who'd been deserted, but I've looked on a few of my favourite blogs and their gadget seems to have disappeared completely, too.

I visited The Real Blogger Status and there're lots of disgruntled bloggers with similar problems. According to Google Support the problem is resolved but obviously it isn't. What's going on? Hackers? A simple glitch?

And now my anti-virus has kicked in so that'll slow things up for the next few hours! Don't you just love computers?

PS to Twenties Girl Post

Okay, 2 rejections dropped into my in-box this morning so I'm feeling about as bright and creative as...as a dimly lit uncreative...thing. In an effort to cheer myself up I've baked a carrot cake and I nipped out to the shop to buy a hardback copy of Sophie's Twenties Girl. I got it half price so don't whine on at me about waiting for the cheaper paperback and anyway, my depression calls for chuckles Sophie-style so there!

And if any of my kids are reading this (I doubt it, I bullied them into being 'followers' but I suspect they haven't paid a visit since) sorry, if you were planning on getting a copy for my birthday. You'll have to think of something else...like another book.

Oh and Mum texted me from Bulgaria this morning. She's in her 70's and though she's had a mobile phone for ages, she only learned to text a couple of days ago. So, this morning I get a text from her that goes like this: HANBAGS!(sic) Guchi, Dolchi, jimmy choo, prada - small or large - choose.
From this I'm assuming she's met some dodgy geezer in a back street selling knock-off/fake stuff. Honestly!

PS - I chose Jimmy Choo.

It's all Swedish to me

I received my contributor's copy of Allas in the post today. Page 22 carries the story I submitted to them on May 28th and they purchased on 6th June. The issue is dated 23rd July, so a fairly quick turnaround in mag terms!

I can't read it to see if they've changed anything, because of course, it's in Swedish. I tried an on-line Swedish to English translator but it wasn't much help handling huge chunks of text. My original title was Love Hurts but according to the translator their title 'Smartsam Karlek' means something like Shrewd Fellow. Bit odd as my male character was anything but shrewd.




I can see they've kept my characters' names but then I did got out of my way to provide them with suitably Scandinavian-sounding ones. No illustration to accompany it this time but it's only 1000 words or as they call it '5 min novellen'.

There's a by-line beside the title with my name as the author but there's also a line that says 'Overs och Bearb: Ulla Hening.' I wonder if that's the translator's name? When I tried it in the translator it told me it was Dutch and not Swedish. No idea what's going on there!

Twenties Girl

I'm a big fan of Sophie Kinsella so can't wait to get my hands on this new book. Love the trailer!
There're some fun pages here

What the critics say:

Sophie's latest tome is a wise, funny ghost story that will have you gripped from the first page. Perfect summer reading.
- Heat

Wonderfully witty tale...You'll love this quirky read - it's just as girly, exciting and fabulously funny as Sophie's other gems *****
- Heat

Best read with a cold glass of wine at sunset (with tissues).
- The Times

PS - when I get my novel published I'm going to call on everyone I've publicised to do the same for me! So watch out Sophie!

Never Give Up

Argh and I had such high hopes for Never Give Up, the story I submitted to Woman's Weekly back in May. I know Clare Cooper can take up to 8/12 weeks these days as there's only two staff and one part-time assistant in the office, so I wasn't unduly worried. Sometimes, if a story doesn't come winging back within that time, it can mean it's in with a good chance and stupidly, that's what I thought might be happening. After all, weren't they short of the longer mystery?

Anyway, when a writing friend got a 'yes' this morning for something she subbed quite a while after me, I did what I loathe to do(and editors dislike, too)and chased it up. Clare got back to me within minutes to say it'd been declined (so much nicer than 'rejected') on July 13th. I'd either missed it in my in-box or it got lost in cyber space. I do like the people at WW. Unlike some editors, Clare will always answer a 'chase' even though I know she must be drowning under piles of mss.

So, what to do with it now? It's around 4000 words and has already been declined by Take A Break. I could try My Weekly but I'll have to wait until next month as they're only allowing one sub per month these days and I've already got my July one in. It's def not suitable for The People's Friend...the story has suggestions of s-e-x before marriage, shock, horror!

It's not really competition material so that isn't an option. And it's far too long for a BBC radio script - they want 1900 to 2000 words which runs to around 14 minutes.

Never Give Up is based loosely on a script I wrote during a TV drama writing course tutored by Chrissie Hall who's written for the BBC's Doctors series. That was a couple of years ago now and it still hasn't sold. Is it time to give up on it? Certainly not! Even if it has to undergo some massive editing, it will eventually sell. As the title says, Never Give Up!

The Yellow Room

Jo Derrick now has her new website The Yellow Room up and running. Jo, former owner and editor of QWF, publishes stories up to 5,000 words by UK writers, in a twice-yearly magazine. The new site contains guidelines, writers' checklists, tips and competitions.

PS - I wish I hade a fabulous sitting room as sunny and bright as the one displayed on her homepage!

Dedications

We passed this memorial bench on the way round Linacres the other day. I've seen such dedications before, of course, notably in Bakewell, Derbyshire. There're quite a few benches down by the riverside. I expect most parks have them. But this one, I thought was special since it's hand-made and the words simple, yet moving.

In my novel, The Cuckoo Club, the hero, Alex, decides to honour his late father, William, in such a way by donating a bench complete with brass plaque to William's beloved bowls club. What happens next is one of the major turning points in the plot. Maybe that's why coming across the bench on Sunday had such significance for me. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. Probably.

Mr Darcy,Vampyre!

An immortal sequel to Pride and Prejudice by Amanda Grange OUT AUGUST 2009, published by Sourcebooks - ISBN 9781402236976 The cover opposite is the UK cover.

Wow - this sounds interesting, doesn't it? Quite a different take on Darcy! I haven't read a good horror in ages.


This is the US cover and the one I prefer. Amanda Grange is also the author of Mr Darcy's Diary, Captain Wentworth's Diary, Mr Knightley's Diary, Edmund Bertram's Diary, Colonel Brandon's Diary and Mr Darcy, Vampyre. Visit her website here

Or click here to enter her competition.