Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Blog Takeover Day

Hello, I’m Maggie Dearly and Sue’s asked me to take over her blog for today. I’m thrilled, if a little bemused, because I’ve always thought of myself as a secondary character in her novel. Surely she’d want one of the main protagonists to scribble something - the MPs being Alex and Roisin* not forgetting Sandra. Alex is my son, by the way, the lovely Roisin is his employee (at least in the beginning)and Sandra is...well, maybe I’ll keep that to myself for now. Don’t want any spoilers do we?

Where was I? Oh yes, Sue assures me I’m important because my role is pivotal to the plot - without me there’d be no conflict.

‘And we all know why a story needs conflict, don’t we, Maggie?’

And there was me thinking she’d only invented my character because every good family saga**needs a clichéd, menopausal widow to bounce clever dialogue off.

So now I’m here, being pivotal, what am I expected to talk about?

My only claim to fame is I was once sacked from a charity shop, for calling Cherie Blair a ‘F*****g greedy cow’. As I told her security at the time how was I to know she’d come to officially open the premises? She looked nothing like the grinning Cheshire cat we see on the telly. I thought she was one of the girls from the pie shop next door come to get her hands on the best stuff before we opened. And for the record, you can’t sack someone from voluntary work.

Alex was a bit put out at the time. He didn’t say as much but I think he was worried my actions would reflect on his business. As if the whole of Throcking Pava would boycott his cafe because the owner’s mother had denied the then PM’s wife a 50p bud vase. Honestly! He worries too much. He takes after his father...

Talking of which, I do miss my husband, William, despite what Roisin thinks she saw. Okay, I admit, Mr Chen*** was in my house naked but everything else is entirely down to her imagination. Except for the wacky baccy. That I do regret. That and a certain course of action taken almost three decades ago.

Still, we came through it all in the end. Well, we had to or the novel would have an unsatisfactory conclusion and we can’t have that in a best-seller can we?


* ‘Roisin’ (pronounced Roe-sheen) has one of those funny accents above the ‘o’ but I don’t know how to find the symbol on here and everyone calls her Raz in the book so I don’t know why Sue’s so insistent I point it out but she's the writer so I have to indulge her.

**Saga isn’t how Sue would describe it. More a romantic comedy...about family loyalties and bonds...and other family stuff. So a saga, really.

***Zsui Chen, holistic practitioner – responsible for flushing my colon once a month.



Quillers said...

Oh Maggie, you're clearly absolutely essential to the plot! If Sue's got any sense, she'll give you your own starring role one of these days. Oh, she just did ;-)

Sue Houghton said...

Thanks Sally...Maggie

Sue here...I'm actually a little worried I took the trouble to do a mock up photo of the bud vase! I mean, seriously worried!

Teresa Ashby said...

Was it really you that did that with the bud vase, Sue? Or was it Maggie?!

I think you sound lovely, Maggie - a very entertaining and warm lady!

Sue Houghton said...

I don't know, Teresa, I'm a bit confused as to who I am today!

Olivia Ryan said...

You sound fantastic, Maggie. I love cliched, menopausal widows!


womagwriter said...

Great post Maggie! If I'd had a daughter she was going to be Roisin, with the fodda and all. I don't know how to do them on the computer either, so just as well I only had sons.

Antonia said...

I love the surname 'Dearly'.

Your character really has come to life, but my question is, what happens when Sue finishes the novel? Do you stay in a kind of twilight existence, within the constraints of that novel? What if she writes you out of it? Are you then banished for ever?

Janice Horton said...

Ha-ha, great post. Are you sure you can't get sacked from voluntary work?