Tripping

I've been doing some critiques this week - short women's fiction, um, I mean short fiction for women. See how my brain's seized up? No, actually, I have to say it's been very rewarding and I've discovered an awful lot about my own writing from doing it.

I've also discovered if I sit at my desk for 6 hours at a time and drink too much coffee I hallucinate and start imagining all sorts of frightening things. For instance, I thought I heard someone say Woman magazine has stopped running short fiction. I was tripping, obviously. What? Huh? It's true!!!!



Got 2 sales last week, and a fat cheque from Take A Break has paid off my Christmas presents overdraft.




The new novel is stuck at 14,000 words and I'm seriously wondering if I haven't plagurised James Herbert's latest...his written far better, obviously - I kneel at your feet and kiss your hairy toes, oh Scary One.

Here's a photo of me editing out all the similarities.

Virus Alert

There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.

This virus is called Worm-Overload- Recreational- Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take2 good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known asWork-Isolator- Neutralizer- Extractor (WINE).
The quickest acting WINE type is called Swift-Hitting- Infiltrator- Remover-All- Zones(SHIRAZ) but this is only available for those who can afford it.

The next best equivalent is Cheapest-Available- System-Killer (CASK).Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminatedfrom your system.

Forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, youhave already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. This virusis DEADLY(Destroys- Every-Available- Decent-Living- Youngster) .

Update 25-05-06:
After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent- Extractor- Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

Smoke Gets in your Eyes

Today, I discovered my grandfather's, brother's wife (sis-in-law then, yes, I think that's right...) was one of the glam models who appeared on advertising posters for Craven 'A' cigarettes in the thirties. Why I find this so exciting, I have no idea, but wouldn't you be just a little bit chuffed, too?

Okay, smoking is very un-PC these days but back then cigarettes were almost considered medicinal. Craven's advertising slogan was their brand was 'Good for sore throats'!

I wonder what product my grandchildren will balk at in 50 years?

"Gran! You actually drank water? And from the tap?"

Could spin the other way, I suppose. Maybe alcohol will be good for the liver...