Saturday 13 January 2007

Diets

Oh gawd, the holiday is booked...how to lose 2 stone in 6 weeks? Answers on a postcard please.
No, scratch that, the all-concealing kaftan is the answer. Ebay here I come!

Women's mags aren't big on dieting stories, least not ones where the female protagonist has to lose 2 stone to attract her man. With this is mind, I wrote two shorts where the women were plump and proud of it - they both sold, 1 to Woman and 1 to Fiction Feast.

Sunday 7 January 2007

Horoscope 2007

I don't normally look up my horoscope (I'm a Leo, by the way) but couldn't help peeping at the Special Section(?) in today's Sunday paper supplement.


January - Song lyrics figure big this month...Waterloo is the hero's fave song in my novel so maybe this means the book will be made into a musical?? I'll have to go ex-directory as Sir Elton John makes a nuisance of himself begging to work on the score.

February - A cash deal will be on the table - that will be my publishing contract, right?

March - A hobby will make me good money abroad...my novel will go to auction in America with several publishing houses in the bidding.

April - My talent will be recognised...I'll be nominated and win the Booker Prize, or maybe the Los Angeles Book Prize. Could even be the prestigious Throcking Parva Public Library Most Overdue Fiction Prize.

May - The sun and moon will illuminate my ambition chart so I can overcome doubts that have stopped me showcasing my talent in front of an audience...The New Wembley Stadium? Albert Hall? Sydney Opera House? Little Markle Village Hall?

June - A sports-linked prize is on the horizon... me and sport? Don't think so!

July
- A dedication on the radio...Mariella Frostrup reads a passage from the novel on her show.

August - I will have the talent to win a prize this month (what another?) and I'll enjoy the fame it brings... I'll appear on Richard & Judy as the novel wins their Summer Read comp.

September - I have a hot talent for words...well obviously tsk!

October
- I'll learn to enjoy broccoli...??????

November - Others share their dreams with me...back off, this is my ego trip, okay!

December - I'll win the lottery...great end to the year then!