New Template

Do you like my new template? Hope so as it's taken me the best part of today to get it right...well, almost right. It still needs a little faffing with and tweaks here and there but on the whole I'm quite taken with it.

I think everything I need has been brought over from the old site. If anything's missing I'll find it and add it later.

Still having problems getting the 'followers' pane to appear but I understand it has something to do with an incompatibilty between Google Friends (or was it Google Contacts?) and the old 'followers' format. I'm probably wrong but hey-ho!

Sent to Coventry?

Where have all my followers gone? I thought it was just me who'd been deserted, but I've looked on a few of my favourite blogs and their gadget seems to have disappeared completely, too.

I visited The Real Blogger Status and there're lots of disgruntled bloggers with similar problems. According to Google Support the problem is resolved but obviously it isn't. What's going on? Hackers? A simple glitch?

And now my anti-virus has kicked in so that'll slow things up for the next few hours! Don't you just love computers?

PS to Twenties Girl Post

Okay, 2 rejections dropped into my in-box this morning so I'm feeling about as bright and creative as...as a dimly lit uncreative...thing. In an effort to cheer myself up I've baked a carrot cake and I nipped out to the shop to buy a hardback copy of Sophie's Twenties Girl. I got it half price so don't whine on at me about waiting for the cheaper paperback and anyway, my depression calls for chuckles Sophie-style so there!

And if any of my kids are reading this (I doubt it, I bullied them into being 'followers' but I suspect they haven't paid a visit since) sorry, if you were planning on getting a copy for my birthday. You'll have to think of something else...like another book.

Oh and Mum texted me from Bulgaria this morning. She's in her 70's and though she's had a mobile phone for ages, she only learned to text a couple of days ago. So, this morning I get a text from her that goes like this: HANBAGS!(sic) Guchi, Dolchi, jimmy choo, prada - small or large - choose.
From this I'm assuming she's met some dodgy geezer in a back street selling knock-off/fake stuff. Honestly!

PS - I chose Jimmy Choo.

It's all Swedish to me

I received my contributor's copy of Allas in the post today. Page 22 carries the story I submitted to them on May 28th and they purchased on 6th June. The issue is dated 23rd July, so a fairly quick turnaround in mag terms!

I can't read it to see if they've changed anything, because of course, it's in Swedish. I tried an on-line Swedish to English translator but it wasn't much help handling huge chunks of text. My original title was Love Hurts but according to the translator their title 'Smartsam Karlek' means something like Shrewd Fellow. Bit odd as my male character was anything but shrewd.




I can see they've kept my characters' names but then I did got out of my way to provide them with suitably Scandinavian-sounding ones. No illustration to accompany it this time but it's only 1000 words or as they call it '5 min novellen'.

There's a by-line beside the title with my name as the author but there's also a line that says 'Overs och Bearb: Ulla Hening.' I wonder if that's the translator's name? When I tried it in the translator it told me it was Dutch and not Swedish. No idea what's going on there!

Twenties Girl

I'm a big fan of Sophie Kinsella so can't wait to get my hands on this new book. Love the trailer!
There're some fun pages here

What the critics say:

Sophie's latest tome is a wise, funny ghost story that will have you gripped from the first page. Perfect summer reading.
- Heat

Wonderfully witty tale...You'll love this quirky read - it's just as girly, exciting and fabulously funny as Sophie's other gems *****
- Heat

Best read with a cold glass of wine at sunset (with tissues).
- The Times

PS - when I get my novel published I'm going to call on everyone I've publicised to do the same for me! So watch out Sophie!

Never Give Up

Argh and I had such high hopes for Never Give Up, the story I submitted to Woman's Weekly back in May. I know Clare Cooper can take up to 8/12 weeks these days as there's only two staff and one part-time assistant in the office, so I wasn't unduly worried. Sometimes, if a story doesn't come winging back within that time, it can mean it's in with a good chance and stupidly, that's what I thought might be happening. After all, weren't they short of the longer mystery?

Anyway, when a writing friend got a 'yes' this morning for something she subbed quite a while after me, I did what I loathe to do(and editors dislike, too)and chased it up. Clare got back to me within minutes to say it'd been declined (so much nicer than 'rejected') on July 13th. I'd either missed it in my in-box or it got lost in cyber space. I do like the people at WW. Unlike some editors, Clare will always answer a 'chase' even though I know she must be drowning under piles of mss.

So, what to do with it now? It's around 4000 words and has already been declined by Take A Break. I could try My Weekly but I'll have to wait until next month as they're only allowing one sub per month these days and I've already got my July one in. It's def not suitable for The People's Friend...the story has suggestions of s-e-x before marriage, shock, horror!

It's not really competition material so that isn't an option. And it's far too long for a BBC radio script - they want 1900 to 2000 words which runs to around 14 minutes.

Never Give Up is based loosely on a script I wrote during a TV drama writing course tutored by Chrissie Hall who's written for the BBC's Doctors series. That was a couple of years ago now and it still hasn't sold. Is it time to give up on it? Certainly not! Even if it has to undergo some massive editing, it will eventually sell. As the title says, Never Give Up!

The Yellow Room

Jo Derrick now has her new website The Yellow Room up and running. Jo, former owner and editor of QWF, publishes stories up to 5,000 words by UK writers, in a twice-yearly magazine. The new site contains guidelines, writers' checklists, tips and competitions.

PS - I wish I hade a fabulous sitting room as sunny and bright as the one displayed on her homepage!

Dedications

We passed this memorial bench on the way round Linacres the other day. I've seen such dedications before, of course, notably in Bakewell, Derbyshire. There're quite a few benches down by the riverside. I expect most parks have them. But this one, I thought was special since it's hand-made and the words simple, yet moving.

In my novel, The Cuckoo Club, the hero, Alex, decides to honour his late father, William, in such a way by donating a bench complete with brass plaque to William's beloved bowls club. What happens next is one of the major turning points in the plot. Maybe that's why coming across the bench on Sunday had such significance for me. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it. Probably.

Mr Darcy,Vampyre!

An immortal sequel to Pride and Prejudice by Amanda Grange OUT AUGUST 2009, published by Sourcebooks - ISBN 9781402236976 The cover opposite is the UK cover.

Wow - this sounds interesting, doesn't it? Quite a different take on Darcy! I haven't read a good horror in ages.


This is the US cover and the one I prefer. Amanda Grange is also the author of Mr Darcy's Diary, Captain Wentworth's Diary, Mr Knightley's Diary, Edmund Bertram's Diary, Colonel Brandon's Diary and Mr Darcy, Vampyre. Visit her website here

Or click here to enter her competition.

Research

Having a writer's inquisitive mind, I couldn't help but do some digging about on the Web to see if I could find out more on the reservoirs we visited yesterday. The walk inspired a few plot ideas I wanted to scribble up before I forgot them.

There was lots of info on the building/architecture of the reservoirs etc but what I found fascinating was that the middle car park where we left our car, was on the former site of two great buildings, one of which was Linacre Hall and the other, I believe, was Linacre House. The latter was a three-storey mansion belonging to Dr Thomas Linacre (1460-1524), who was founder and first president of the Royal College of Surgeons and...wait for it...physician to both Henry VIII and the young Mary Queen of Scots.

I found a photo and more on him
here from when he was portrayed by Clive Geraghty on the TV series The Tudors. I'd have paid more attention had I known about the association.

Known for his intellectual fastidiousness and minute accuracy, he sounds a good sort, doesn't he? And he managed to escape having his head separated from his shoulders by Henry so he must've had a decent bedside manner too!

He was born in Brampton, Chesterfield, home of the Parish Church of St. Mary & All Saints' twisted church spire. There's evidence to support this in the Doomsday book, yet many websites quote Linacre as being born in Canterbury. From what I can gather, this is wrong. He was educated at Canterbury Cathedral under the direction of William Tilly of Selling (or William Selling of Tilly, depending on which website you fall on though I'm sure it must be the former)so maybe this is where the mix up about his birthplace comes?

From Canterbury, Linacre went on to Oxford in around 1480 to study Greek, and from there he accompanied Tilly to Italy where he took his degree of doctor of medicine. He was later called to court to tutor Arthur, Prince of Wales. Which is how, when Henry succeeded the throne in 1509, Linacre came to be Henry's surgeon. A case of better the devil you know as far as Henry was concerned, I shouldn't wonder.

I'm glad I don't write historical fiction because just researching for fun threw up so many conflicting facts. It took a while to pull out any bits that could be confirmed. It seems that incorrect text and dates get copied between websites which makes it difficult. On that note, please, don't take my ramblings as correct either...though I honestly do believe Linacre was born in Brampton Chesterfield. There's too much evidence to back it up for it to be incorrect.

If there're any historians out there reading this who think I'm way off beam, I'm sure you'll put me right!

Photo of St Mary's taken from Peak District Online website in an article by Tom Bates.

Linacre reservoirs

Spent an enjoyable afternoon on Sunday walking round Linacre reservoirs near Chesterfield, Derbyshire...in the rain, though it was sunny when we set off. We piled in the car - Me, Jeff, daughter Amy and her boyfriend Tom and my son Adam and set off thinking we'd maybe just walk down the steps to the middle reservoir - there're 3 of them split over 3 tiers covering around 200 acres. However, we got carried away with the healthy outdoorsiness of it all and ended up walking for hours.


This is a pic of the steps going down. They were wet and a bit slippery and not once did I think 'How the heck am I going to get back up them'! Fortunately there's an alternative route back to the car park.
Anyway, the views were worth it.


They were built between 1855 and 1904 and between them hold 240 million gallons of water.



As I said, we did it in drizzly weather with thunder rumbling in the distance, but we had some shelter under the trees. Though when Adam told me there were lots of adders lurking un the undergrowth I was happy to hurry on and get wet!


Tom took the above photo using the camera's panoramic setting.


We completely forgot about the weather when we came across the tree sculptures dotted about. As always happens, the photos don't do them justice. This one was made to look like a little castle with a door ajar at the bottom and a guard on top of it looking over the battlements. Very Wind In The Willows!

In case you're wondering, all these sculptures have been done on dead tree stumps.

I think the owl had to be my favourite. Pity the sculptors haven't put their name to them. Or maybe I missed a signature? The Linacre Woodland Festival is coming up in August so we plan to go back then. Hopefully it'll be sunny!

Thought this one was a bit on the spooky side.

As for this large acorn, I fully expected Scrat the sabre-toothed squirrel from the movie Ice Age to come running out of the undergrowth in pursuit of it.

We also saw robins, finches, tits, squirrels, grebes and coots.

If you want to visit the address is:
Linacre Reservoirs, Woodnook Lane, Cutthorpe, Chesterfield, Derbyshire, S42 7JW
And you can read more on historic Chesterfield here

Flee Flea.

If there's one thing about warm weather that creeps me out it's the abundance of flies that suddenly appear. From small midge-like ones to the fat bluebottle, I hate them all. I mean what is it with them? They have the whole outdoors to do their dirty thing on so why invade my space? If they're not doing horrible things in the dog's food bowl, they're bashing their brains against the window pane or buzzing manically around my ceiling light.

Seems the only way to thwart them is to close all doors and windows or fit screens like I've seen in every American movie I've watched. That and to invest in industrial sized cans of fly killer.

Soon as I here the sound of fly hitting window pane I'm under the kitchen sink looking out the spray. The one I use is formulated especially for food premises and boy, is it fast. One spray and they drop like...well, like flies! From flight to stone dead in seconds. None of that noisy spinning on their back under the TV stand/behind the kettle nonsense! Don't you just hate that?

Why am I discussing the life and times of the bluebottle on here? Well, I'm writing a short story set in the fifties and needed to know when those sticky, ribbon fly papers were around. You remember the ones. My grandmother always had them pinned to the ceiling in her sitting room and kitchen. Used to give me the heebie-jeebies even as a child. Dozens of those little black bodies stuck fast, legs thrashing about till they gave up the fight and died. Eugh! My cousin, Colin, who was a bit older than me, used to wait till the adults were out of the room, then pull one off the ceiling and chase me with it.

I seem to recall that someone's budgie got stuck fast on the fly paper and had to have it's feathers trimmed to release it but I'm not sure whether that's true or not.

Oh, and remember the sweet mincemeat shortbread served up on school dinners? Dead fly pie the boys would chant. No wonder I can't look at a Garibaldi without shivering.

A Family Toot!

Tom, my daughter's partner has been awarded a police commendation for services to our local community. Here's Amy and Tom together in the grounds of Kelham Hall where the ceremony took place on Wednesday. And no, Tom isn't standing on a higher step than Amy - he's 6'4" and she's 5'2"!















And this one is of Tom (on the right) collecting his commendation. Well done, Tom, you deserved it!

Plagiarism

I was appalled to read on Teresa Ashby's blog about her experience of being plagiarised. No wonder she was so upset and who can blame her.

Writers have a hard enough time as it is without being victims of the cut and paste brigade who think it's okay to lift text word for word and pass it off as their own. Like Teresa and many others, writing isn't just a hobby for me. It's my living. And a very meagre one, at that. I'm nowhere near Teresa's league but I've worked hard to hone my skill and I'd be pretty cut up if someone put their name to that hard work - let alone took the fee for it! Teresa tells us that this particular woman had sent off many stories all of which then fell under suspicion as plagiarised work. Could one of them have been mine? I guess I'll never know.

Reading through the comments left on A Likely Story Teresa's not the only writer to have had her work attributed to someone else.

Of course, magazine editors do make mistakes from time to time. Despite what we sometimes think about them, they are only human. I'm not the only writer who's had work published without her knowledge. I only found out one of mine had appeared in an Australian mag when an Aus. writing friend spotted it and happened to send me a 'congrats' email. I realised immediately that I hadn't had an acceptance for this story so was able to check through my records and chase the editor for payment. In this instance it was a genuine mistake, but how may times had it happened before? Again, I'll never know.

It's got me thinking (for 'thinking' read 'paranoid'). Have I ever written something another writer thinks too similar to their work not to have been copied? I don't mean word for word, but of a similar theme? They may well have, but there's no copyright on ideas and aren't there only supposed to be 7 basic plots anyway? Or am I confusing that with how many hills make up Sheffield? Or was it Rome?

Every time I come up with a witty one-liner (well, what I think is witty!), a tantalising twist in the tale, or a quirky character trait, I have to convince myself it is my own work and I haven't subliminally soaked it up from something I've read. When I was editing my novel I was convinced I couldn't possibly have thought up 'that twist of plot' or 'that funny line'. I actually had to go page by page through the last few books I'd read to check I hadn't plagiarised the authors. I hadn't, thankfully. I put it down to a lack of confidence about my ability and from chatting to other writers, they've suffered similar moments.

You can read more on the subject of plagiarism here at How Publishing Really Works and here at Dear Author

Use Your Loaf

I spent yesterday working on a short story inspired by my own post about mum and toddler spaces in supermarket car parks. I got a first draft together quickly (too quickly in retrospect!)and posted it for my writing group to crit. It went down okay but the overwhelming feeling was that the clues I'd laid (it was a twist in the tale) were too subtle. A bit too 'off camera'. So I put it to one side to work on today and then DUR! I remembered my daughter's partner, Tom, is in security and thought he might be able to help me with research.

I texted him and yes, he's been a great help. In fact, I'd made some silly assumptions regarding police procedure following a pickpocketing. Note to self: Check your facts! A writer owes it to her reader to get the basics right!

I've almost re-written the thing now, but I'm still not convinced it's working. I'm hoping to target Take A Break with it (primarily because they're the best payers!) and really had my sights set on the weekly issue but now I'm going through the editing, I can see it needs more room for the plot to unfold. I reckon the finished story will come in around 1500-2000 which is far too long for the weekly issue, but it still may suit TAB's monthly Fiction Feast. And if it isn't suitable I can try a few other magazines...Woman's Weekly might go for it.

Anyway, as I've been mulling over it in my head, I baked a cheese and onion loaf.

First time I've done this recipe in the bread maker. Must make a note of the timings/heat settings so I can repeat the success.

Transport

Well, the new car arrived yesterday - a Zafira to replace the Renault Scenic. I loved that old Scenic. For a start, though it had manual transmission, it had an automatic brake which meant I didn't have to remember to apply it when I switched off the engine...always reassuring when parking up or down hill! It also had a push-button ignition - no twiddling with a large bunch of keys. I just had to remember to have the card reader thingy in my pocket or handbag and Robert's your mum's brother.

I knew I'd wander off topic but anyway - on the subject of keyrings...mine was given to me by my South African writing friend, Ginny, when she came over to the UK a few years back. It's made from twisted wire and orange beads in the shape of a gecko and I love it!
Dangling from this is another keyring containing a pic of my 4 kids, the car key (obviously), a front door house key, a back door house key, a key to the safe (presently empty in case you were thinking of mugging me), one rogue key I daren't throw away because I have no idea what if anything it opens, last but not least, my Tesco points card.
So it's pretty bulky as you can imagine. When the ignition key is inserted, the rest of the bunch swings precariously against my knee - because I'm short and have to practically sit on the dashboard to reach the pedals.

The Scenic also had a handy card recognition system which meant the vehicle would open its doors as I approached it. And no, I was never in fear of car-jackers taking off in it because without the card-reader with them the thing was immobilised.

So back to the new car - I drove it for the first time this morning...down the by-pass on my way to collect morning goods from the bakery. The gears were smooth, the pick-up equally so and the suspension seemed better than the Scenic.
Windscreen wipers took a bit of getting used to - sorting out the intermittent setting from the 'powerful enough to remove a stray bull elephant from the windscreen'. The latter useful on safari tours.

Oh, and the traffic update caught me by surprise. There I was dawdling along when a Radio Lincs traffic warning thundered into my peaceful bubble and I almost crashed into the central reservation! But once I get these little niggles sorted and my fluffy cat sitting on the dashboard, my Bagpuss air freshener and my lucky Bob The Builder in place, I'm sure I'll come to love it just as much as the old car.

Why the soft toys? So I can park in the mother and toddler spaces with impunity, of course. An MPV with various soft toys scattered around it must belong to a harassed mum of six! No, don't boo! I brought up 4 kids way, way before the invention of supermarket trolleys with baby seats, mum and toddler parking spaces etc. I'M OWED!! Though, in all fairness, I'll soon qualify for a disabled/senior citizen space...

Rejection & St Swithin's Day

Two rejections in my in box this morning both from the same mag. Unusually, the editor has given a reason - too short. I just checked and the guidelines I'm going by have them at the correct length so maybe their requirements have changed recently. Thing is with this sort of rejection, I'm left wondering whether I should re-submit at the correct word length. But then again, she'd have said as much, wouldn't she? Hey-ho. I don't think I'll bother and the stories in question have both sold in 4 countries each under different guises so no real loss there.

I must get some serious writing done in the next few weeks as my output has dropped massively from what it used to be. I also need the dosh - a good reason for getting down to it!

I fancy trying another crime/thriller. Mainly because they tend to write to a higher word length - well, mine do, anyways. I'd like to target Take A Break some more too. There was a time I'd make it into every monthly Fiction Feast - not so these days. It's entirely my own fault. I've let other things get in the way. The day job for instance. Himself owns a butchers/bakery shop and I've def spent more time this past year filling in for staff absences/holidays or just generally catching up on making BBQ stuff. Ha! Consdering the downpour we have here, there won't be many BBQ's lit today. Nor for the foreseeable weekend as it's forecast rain and more rain.

Did you know today is St Swithin's Day? Do you recall this Elizabethan rhyme?

'St. Swithin's day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St. Swithin's day if thou be fair
For forty days 'twill rain nae mair.'

According to projectbritain.com :

Legend has it that as the Saxon Bishop of Wincester lay on his deathbed, he asked to be buried out of doors, where he would be trodden on and rained on. For nine years, his wishes were followed, but then, the monks of Winchester attempted to remove his remains to a splendid shrine inside the cathedral on 15 July 971. According to legend there was a heavy rain storm either during the ceremony or on its anniversary.

And so the old wive's tale was born that if it rains on St Swithin's Day (July 15th), it will rain for the next 40 days in succession, and a fine 15th July will be followed by 40 days of fine weather.

However, according to the Met Office, it's nothing other than a myth - well they would say that. Anyway, it's been put to the test on 55 occasions*, when it has been wet on St Swithin's Day and 40 days of rain did not follow.

* source: the book entitled 'Red Sky At Night'

As writers we should be aware of such events and use them to our advantage by incorporating them into our stories. Says me who didn't know what day it was until that nice weather girl mentioned it this morning on GMTV! So I'm making a note right now on my 'story calendar'. Next year I'll have a St Swithin's story pubbed - watch this space (but not too closely)!

Pam escapes from the cupboard under the stairs

That annoying Witholding Tax

Many thanks to HappyWriter who has taken the time and trouble to call the tax office over the annoying business of non-Aus writers having witholding tax deducted from our fees. Here is what she has to say:

If an Australian doesn't supply an ABN number they will have around 46% in tax taken out. Australians can solve this by either getting an ABN number (if they consider themselves a business not hobby)or giving a Statement by Supplier form and ticking the reason they are not supplying an ABN.

For Foreign residents, if you do not supply an ABN number theoretically 10% withholding would be taken out HOWEVER, all you have to do is supply the Statement By Supplier Form, tick the reason you are not supplying an ABN (*the supplier is not entitled to an ABN as they are not carrying on an enterprise in Australia*) and NO TAX should be taken out - at all.

This is the second time I have been given the same advice, and tax office said that if anyone is still taking out tax after they have received your Statement by Supplier Form, then get them to contact the tax office.

The issue is only different if we are talking about, interest, dividends, ROYALTIES, construction, casinos and other specific businesses.

Fact

Did you know a man who has a fondness for nibbling women's ears is called a gynotikolobomassophile?

I'm assuming it's meant to describe someone who nibbles indiscriminately? As in, a man who'd run up to a female whilst she's queuing for a bus, say, and go straight for the lobes without so much as an introduction? But surely that's assault? So he's most likely a bit of a yob as well as a gynotiko-whatsit.

Suppose our man is a gentleman, an upstanding citizen...he'd ask permission first, wouldn't he? Not so much assault then, as a romantic gesture? Well, no not really. It'd be rather like a flasher asking politely if one would mind if he exposed his dangly bits.

How the heck did I get here? I know I began with doing research on a short story but...